Sometimes I wonder if I think about you enough would it some how connect me to you? Like some crazy butterfly effect powered by all of the millions of thoughts that race through my brain.

How can it be so right and so complicated. I know it’s me that makes it complicated. So much of me still feels like I’ve betrayed you too much for you to feel anything real for me.

I feel like you’re the one. That other soul that understands me in every way, but how can that be if I haven’t managed to overcome the fears that keep us apart?

My life is a mess right now. I work too much and I am not taking care of myself.

I just want to be the girl you thought I was. That’s what I want.

xx