From the book of words I never said

He didn’t like to kiss.Β He told me once that kissing made him feel like he was suffocating. He couldn’t stand it…

In the beginning I assumed he meant he just didn’t like kissing, but then I had to wonder if he just didn’t like kissing me.

He’d told me stories of other girls, of women he had been with. Was he being open and trusting me with his desires when he had not with others? I told myself that it was. He felt he could be his true self with me and not risk unhappiness in the admission.

So we didn’t kiss.

It’s funny how we seek the validation of others, that one person who we choose to connect with and love above all others especially. I thought I could be ok with not kissing. I’d never been the teen who spent lunch breaks making out and there were other things that would turn me of in foreplay. I figured this was a compromise I was willing to commit to.

It wasn’t until I was denied that I realised being kissed was a form of validation I craved. To me kissing is passion, it’s love and connection. It’s a way for someone to tell you that you are beautiful without words. It’s looking into the soul of someone and sharing something primal.

How could I tell him when he had made it clear he wanted something different? I knew things could not carry on as they were. I craved affection and romance. I wanted to be dressed up and shown off. Taken away for dirty weekends, to find dark corners to satisfy my lust at every opportunity. I wasn’t the girl I thought I was and I couldn’t deny her any longer.

So now she’s free. Figuring things out as she goes along, lusting after that next kiss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Brad Osborne says:

    A poignant and powerful description of the intimacy of a kiss. Well written!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. xxyourholly says:

      Well thank you so much! I’ve been enjoying your poetry, amazing work. Really loving this online space 😊

      Like

  2. jupitergrant says:

    Kissing is beautiful, and passionate, and it communicates so much. You capture it so well here, and I hope that lots of loving, hot, intimate kisses come your way πŸ’‹πŸ’–

    Like

    1. xxyourholly says:

      I’m thrilled you agree, thank you for your wishes for kisses 😍😍😍

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s